So if you haven't yet heard, after two thousand years of letting himself go and being generally unproductive, god is back and he is better than......ok well he is a little rusty, or should i say gold. It is a phenomenon( in the same way that people believing they have been anally probed by beings from other planets and The Macarena are phenomenon) that is sweeping churches across the land. Buffoons, or to use the politically correct euphemism, Believers claim that during church services they receive previously non-existent gold teeth, and that gold dust has been seen by masses coming from the ceiling. No really its all here:
http://www.ccfinc.org/Gold_Dust_Gold_Fillings_and_Angel_Feathers.html
Now first off gold teeth are just tacky,
but secondly, these people believe that GOD ALMIGHTY, ruler of heaven and earth, has been reduced to doing parlor tricks for no other reason than their own titillation, and alleviation from boredom. The idea that a Being who created the Universe, as wasteful and vacuous as it is, has now become so thrifty and small minded with his powers would seem enough for even the slowest wit to apply Ockham's razor here without even having to know what the fuck Ockham's razor is. Then again when we consider his small minded followers, this is about their speed. I doubt believers in such foolishness ever give the grandeur of the universe a second thought, after all their God created in the image of small mindedness never did:
And the stars did make he also.
I know what your thinking. Why give such nonsense the time of day? Easy, the same reason I would visit a carnival that promised a smörgåsbord's of freaks. It is just really ever so hard for me to wrap my head around this. How the fuck can anyone believe this? I'll leave any serious debunking of these claims to the really concerned out there and for my part just dismiss the whole thing out of hand based on it's premise alone. A premise which if put into an anthropomorphic analogy, it would be the equivalent of Oprah Winfrey going bankrupt and being reduced to giving blow jobs for crack. Ok, maybe the blow jobs for crack part doesn't apply here, so lets say she was reduced to doing laxative commercials. Unfucking believable. I mean think of it. A tsunami wipes out a hundred thousand people in one day, but does God use his power to bring these people back to life or prevent the tsunami? Of course not, because he is too busy putting bling in some bible thumping dumbfucks mouth. Forget "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence", give me something extraordinary why don't you. My fucking dentist can put gold in my mouth too, the difference is, I don't forget its there and attribute it to the invisible dentist in the sky, or just flat out lie about it. Oh, and I almost forgot the angel feathers. Yes, these fucktards also claim that during their carnival show, angel feathers appear out of thin air. I'll tell you what, I'll be a true believer when they can produce some angel poo. I mean why not? Angels with real feathers take real poos, they do. That is the only sign I require from the good lord, is to have one of his half bird half man creatures fly over the faithful and take a giant poop on thier heads and I shall never doubt again.
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